The song lacks structure and your drums are a little wonky. They seem repetitive and the patterns strike me as odd, which is good for experimental work, but doesn't make for good recreational listening. That's not to say that it's bad, my first songs sounded a lot like this, in a way. You're learning, and that's great, so I don't want you to think that I'm just being cruel. A bit harsh, yes, but when I started out I didn't have anyone to give me a harsh critique and I suffered for it.
So, having said that, there are a lot of different things you can do to make your songs better. The first thing you should work on is structure. There are no "set structures," but there are helpful guidelines that will make your music a bit nicer.
Try to think of each song in terms of every 8-bars. For instance, you could have an 8-bar intro, then have 16 bars introducing your bassline and drum patterns, maybe have another 16 slowly adding in accompanying instruments building up toward a 16 / 32 bar chorus. This is an example, and I don't know if I've explained it properly, but the main thing is that you want your song to have structure. The best electronic songs have a sort of ebb and flow. They build tension, and then release all of that tension in the chorus, then it tends to drop back down to the bare essentials so it can build back up to another release.
Your drums are the backbone of the song. You could spend hours working on a catchy melody, but if the drums are too repetitive or weak it can damage the whole track. That's not to say that the melody isn't important, but you really want to make sure you give your drum patterns proper treatment. Try making a basic pattern for the first bar, then change the pattern up in the second bar, go back to the basic pattern again for the third bar, and on the last bar change it up again, but different than the third bar. Since that is only 4-bars, you can then play those 4-bars again to make an 8-bar pattern.
Try giving the song some movement and flow by slowly adding instruments into the mix, or taking them out of the mix in some cases. This works well when building up to the chorus. It can help you build tension that needs to be resolved when you reach that point.
All in all, it's not bad. It's experimental, and that's just fine. If you need any help at all, feel free to PM me, as I'm sure I haven't explained all of this as well as I could have.
Thanks much, I think I understand what you mean, and now that I think of it that probably would help a lot. I knew it was repetitive but I didn't know how to change it up so thanks a lot.
This track is good, but it never peaks. There's a lot of build-up, but it doesn't really build toward a big energy chorus it deserves. You should try adding in more sound when after the build ups. Perhaps a bit of white noise, or try filling the "audio space" a bit more with other types of sound. A lot of potential. I really want to see you keep working.
I really dig your sounds. My only complaint is that you've got a bit of distortion and clipping going on in parts of the track. A lot of potential, though.
Thank you Ill work on it :)
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.